Nothing like 1 million hours of inaugural coverage to really make me feel like an American!
I don't know about you, but if I wasn't sure before, I am certain now that everything is going to be alright...because Super Barack will make sure of it. He's no ordinary man. He is going to save us.
Do you have a splinter in your finger? He will make sure the era of change comes to your afflicted digit. After all, it shouldn't be the wealthy alone who have access to splinter-puller-outers.
Are you frustrated by the price of a stamp? He'll check the W2 of the guy behind you and ensure he pays for your postage. Why should you have to pay for it when there is a "have" standing right behind you! The burden of postage can be spread around. It will make these United States a place of greater personal responsibility.
As a matter of fact, should you have any grievance what-so-ever, you just send the big guy an email. He'll put a team together, have a small business owner finance the team's brainstorming, design a resolution, have one of those hideous successful/rich people pay for the resolution, and solve your problem completely. You have nothing to worry about!
We are living in Barack Obama's United States, my friends. He is shaping our future, and we can finally be the nation we were destined to be!!!
Just another really excited day Being Billingsley...
